A Socially Awkward Church?

Christmas is behind me.  New Year's is behind me.  The baking, shopping, decorating, wrapping, unwrapping, un-decorating, etc., etc., etc. is all behind me.  The true reason for the season - Jesus.  Did I do well at keeping my focus on that?  Not entirely.  But, with the holidays behind me, I still need to remember that the true reason for living each and every day is Jesus!  

Now, on to the real thinking behind my post.  My husband shared an article with me he read recently that struck me in such a way, that I can't not think about it.  It was an interview with Author/Pastor Francis Chan (author of "Crazy Love," and co-author of "Multiply" with David Platt).  Such a powerful and challenging, down-to-earth, speaker.  Here is the article my husband, David, shared with me -  Chan: The Biggest Myth in the Church Today on Evangelism

Okay, here's the statement that got Dave and I talking the most:
"People in the church don’t know how to look an unbeliever in the eye and actually love him or her and carry on a conversation with them. Churches are filled with some of the most socially awkward people on the planet, and they go there because people have to be their friend. Otherwise, it’s a sin."

What do you think about that statement?  True or False?  Want to know what I think?  Doesn't matter, it's my blog, so here goes, TRUE!  100% True!

We talk about loving God, and the most important thing is telling others about God, but we don't know how to do it without making it awkward.  Why, because we don't know how to build a relationship with someone who doesn't think, feel and act exactly as we do.  It scares us.  It's uncomfortable.

I loved this statement Francis made, too:
"What we do is a big church program, send out fliers, and if you have enough courage, maybe tell your friend to come to “Jesus on Ice” or whatever program we’ve got going on, but we’re still not fluent in Scripture. It’s so weird to people that Jesus is the most important thing to us yet we’re so awkward in talking about it."

Again, TRUE!  We try to get people in our doors (our safety zone), and we don't bother going to them.  Now, I realize in some ways this is a generalization, and not true of everyone.  However, from my own experience growing up in church, I can say that I've seen this as true most of the time.  We strive for comfort.  We get angry and "hurt" when we're uncomfortable.  We want everyone to dress a certain way, sing certain songs, hold certain programs (whether they're effective, or not), and play certain instruments.  Why?  Because we've been programmed to think that's the right way to practice our faith.  You know what I think that is?  Religion!  It's ritualistic, and most often not based on what a personal relationship with Jesus is truly about.  It keeps us comfortable.  We stay "friendly" to visitors, and we remain in the same friendship "cliques," because we don't know how to be anything else.  Like I said, not everyone is like this, but a vast majority of our conservative Christian churches are this way.  

I want my faith to be real.  Whether someone agrees with me, or not, I want them to not doubt that I genuinely believe what I believe, and live what I believe.  Dave and I don't want ourselves to be tied to something someone considers "religious behavior," but rather a real relationship with Christ.  This is a constant changing and growing process for us.  

As a parent I am looking at this from that angle, as well.  It is my job to feed, clothe, protect and train my children, however, is it my job to keep them from knowing the realities of life?  Keep them from experiencing discomfort?  Shelter them from playing with kids who aren't being raised the same as them?  No, I don't think that's part of my job.  I want to protect them, keep them from harm, and yes, at times I want to bubble wrap them and keep the mean, nasty world away.  However, I don't believe that benefits them as future adults, and I don't believe it teaches them how to share their faith with those who don't believe the same as them.  I think if I over-protect them, I raise them to be socially awkward, and unable to relate to anyone beside those they are most comfortable with.  

This article was very thought-provoking for Dave & me.  These are things we don't have all the way figured out, but we're talking through them, praying about them, and trying to decide what we're going to do about it as a family.  

I would love to hear your thoughts on Francis Chan's interview.  Do you think the church is failing to reach outside of it's walls.  Are we failing to relate to those who don't believe and think as we do?  What are we doing about it?