A friend posted this article to Facebook, "School Ditches Rules," and as I read it, I thought - Yes, Yes, Yes! I agree with this so much, I can taste it. But after I read it, and thought about it for a while, I came to a conclusion. I'm a scaredy cat. Yep, you heard it here first. I absolutely think we live in a society where we're overwhelming our kids with safety rules, and we continue to add to the list of unsafe toys. We live in the day and age of video baby monitors, 5 point harness', and bike helmets (I'm not saying these things are bad, they just weren't around when I was a kid). But, I have to admit that I too get overly concerned with safety. The words "be careful," come out of my mouth a lot, but for a different reason.
Here is where I differ from the "safety experts." I let my kids go crazy on the swing set. We got our first swing set when Julie was 18 months old (it came with the house). As soon as she could climb the ladder and go down the slide without help, I let her. I didn't go inside to make dinner while she played, but I let her test the boundaries herself when it came to the ladder and the slide. We still have a swing set in our back yard and I let my kids play on it, unsupervised. They climb on top of the pink play house and watch our neighbor mow the lawn. I let my kids ride their bikes in the driveway without a helmet...yes, without a helmet. If I thought we could get away with it, I'd let them ride in the back of a pick-up truck like I did as a kid. When we're at camp they ride the four-wheeler, shoot bb-guns, and learn to drive my dad's bulldozer. I'm not afraid to let them get dirty and try things.
So, where am I scared? When the girls ask if they're old enough to go for a walk around the block together, without me, I panic. My panic is less about letting my kids get dirty and try new things; it's a panic over living in a society rid with creepy pedophiles, human trafficking and Amber Alerts. It's a panic over wanting them to have the childhood I had (riding bikes and playing in the creek, without supervision), but fearful that I'll be the mom on the 6:00 news that is verbally ripped to shreds for not watching her kids more closely. So, when they head out for a walk, I instruct them to be careful, don't talk to strangers, and check in with me before they go around again.
We are living in a different day and age than my parents grew up in, or that I grew up in, for that matter. But, I struggle between letting my fear of these things, and my kids' need to have more independence, control me. My biggest fear (as is most parents) is something happening to my kids. Finding a balance between living in a society that reports missing kids constantly, and where sites allow you to find out how close you live to registered sex offenders, and at the same time not wanting to live in constant fear, is difficult. I've talked to my kids about "stranger danger," but I try not to talk to them every time they go out to play, because I don't want them to be afraid to play outside.
Run free on the playground...but don't run too close to that person we don't know. Teaching them to be careful, but not fearful. This is the balance I want to find. At the end of the day I have to trust God with the safety of my kids, but even that can feel difficult, sometimes. I want to protect, control, and keep them safe.
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